PENISHEROES
Batman costume on a realistic silicone dildo

SUPERHEROCOSTUMES FORPENISES.

Yes, really. Batman, Superman, Spidey and Turtle suits that slip right on.

Imagine your girlfriend walking into the bedroom, the Batman theme blasting from the speakers — and you, suited up, ready to save the night.

✦ The perfect gag gift · 18+ · Ships in 6–8 weeks

Why we made this

Bedrooms are too quiet.

Shame Out

There's still too much silence around sex. We're here with a rubber cape to break it.

Laughter In

Couples who laugh together stay together. Especially under the covers.

Play On

A great gift for a partner, a stag night, or a friend who needs to lighten up.

MEET THE SQUAD

Four debut characters. Vote with your email — most-wanted hero ships first.

The Bat costume on a novelty silicone toyDark & Brooding

The Bat

Cape, ears, utility belt. For the silent type who only shows up after sundown.

$29Ships in 6–8 wks
Mr. Super costume on a novelty silicone toyFaster Than a Speeding…

Mr. Super

Red cape, big chest emblem, hero pose included. Look up in the bed — it's a one-eyed wonder!

$29Ships in 6–8 wks
The Web Slinger costume on a novelty silicone toyWith Great Power…

The Web Slinger

Spider mask and web suit. Comes responsibility. And a giggle fit.

$29Ships in 6–8 wks
Shell Warrior costume on a novelty silicone toyCowabunga

Shell Warrior

Green shell, orange bandana, ninja attitude. Pizza optional but encouraged.

$29Ships in 6–8 wks

No payment now · You'll be the first to know when we launch

HOW THE NIGHT GOES

01

Suit Up

Slip the costume on. Yes, it's that easy. Soft, body-safe silicone.

02

Cue the Music

Match the suit with the theme. Batman gets Batman. Spidey gets Spidey. Cape entrance optional but encouraged.

03

Save the Night

Laughter, then everything else. Heroes always win.

SMALL PRINT, BIG ENERGY

Is this a real product?+

Soon. We're testing demand first. Drop your email on your favorite hero and you'll be first in line when production starts (6–8 weeks).

Will I be charged?+

Not a cent right now. This is a reservation, not a purchase. We'll email you when you can actually buy one.

What's the material?+

Body-safe silicone, hand-washable, designed to fit standard novelty toys (not real people — please).

Is this a serious business?+

Half serious. Fully sincere. We believe humor is the fastest way past shame — and shame is what keeps most couples having less fun than they could.

Can I gift it?+

That's the whole point. Bachelor party. Anniversary. The friend who needs to lighten up. Wrap it, watch them lose it.

DON'T BE A SIDEKICK.

Pick your hero above. Get notified at launch. Be the one who finally broke the silence — with a laugh.